It’s common nowadays to see adults dating with five, ten, or even more years between their spousal ages. But the age gap between dating students in high school is a little different–a large age gap can cause speculation, questions, or even make people uncomfortable. These relationships can be controversial, so they can cause bullying or worse. Freshmen and senior courting can be considered bad taste–even borderline illegal–but it’s important to try and match maturity levels when seeking out a partner.
“As a health teacher understanding that the male and female brain develop in different ways, sometimes it makes sense that a female student who is a little more mature and maybe looking for someone somewhat more mature, so dating an older guy would make sense,” said Marshfield High School health teacher Brea Peters.
Age gap relationships occur mostly between older men and younger women, primarily because the male and female brains develop at different rates. Young women finish puberty approximately two years earlier than young men. Most girls tend to prefer a guy who is emotionally mature and experienced in having a long-term relationship; they’re also more likely to offer deeper connections and more stability.
“I think it depends on how big the age gap is, but if it’s a freshman and senior dating then either one could get bullied,” said MHS student Marcos Arce-Owen. “That could affect how long they stay together, friendships, or trust from family members.”
There are two years between Arce-Owen’s girlfriend and himself. He recognizes how difficult it can be at home, if parents don’t approve of having an older or younger partner. It could be beneficial for the student to consider their family before jumping into a relationship.
Before entering into a relationship with anyone, regardless of age, it’s important for teens to consider what type of connection they want. If it’s a long-term relationship, then there’s an imbalance when the older partner graduates, leaving the younger person to finish high school on their own.
“I wouldn’t necessarily say I get teased for having an older boyfriend, but I do get confused reactions from people I’m not familiar with when I tell them that my boyfriend is older than me,” said MHS senior Selene Sambell. “A year and a half age gap can be a lot in terms of high school relationships, and it can be perceived as strange to people who don’t know me or know that we’d been together for a year while we were in high school at the same time.”